An Honest Conversation
by Lieh
Summary: Sirius was trying to convince James to do something about the "Evans situation". However, he didn't understand that James's feelings for the girl were deeper than he has thought.


**An Honest Conversation**

 **A/N:** Hope you guys like this one. I love James and Sirius friendship and I always have wondered how many times Sirius must have confronted James about Lily haha **;)**

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"You know you have been behaving like a pathetic man and need to do something about that".

James sighed rolling on his bed trying to ignore Sirius's voice that was almost like an angry whistle. He didn't understand a thing, James thought but he didn't want to make his friend more angry, even though Sirius was only saying shit.

"I mean, for the Merlin's sake, get over this girl or snog the fuck out of her! I can't stand see you like a dead man and rejecting the other girls because of Lily Evans!"

James was with his pillow on his face, the dark vision being a comfort to him. He almost felt relieved when Sirius stopped talking and he thought that he finally shut up and fell sleep. For the most he liked to talk to Sirius about girls, when the subject was the "Evans situation" James preferred to get advice from Remus – because he could understand better and he didn't disapprove his concerns and fears. Sirius on other hand has said that to solve the situation, James only needed to lock himself with Lily inside a broom cupboard and everything would follow its way. This was the last thing that James ever would do, maybe when he arrives at a desperate level that all his plans have failed, but it wasn't the case (yet…).

He almost jumped out of bed when Sirius took off the pillow from his face in annoyance.

"Had you heard what I was saying, Prongs?!"

James sited feeling tired. He didn't want to have that conversation, answering sarcastically:

"Yes I heard, Padfoot. How could I ignore your soft voice?"

Sirius sit down on James's bed frowning.

"So? Are you going to do what I said? Serious Prongs, I'm starting to get worried about you". He passed his hand on his black hair almost the same way James does. "I talked to Remus about this, you know? But he only said to me that only you could _open your heart_ or some bullshit like that".

"It's complicated, Padfoot… I just…" James looked down, very interest on the sheet patterns of the bed.

"What's complicated for fuck sakes?!"

"I just can't get her in a dark room and say, _hey Evans let's snog here and be a couple because you are hot and I've wanted you so much that I can't help myself!_ No, Padfoot, it's not like that with her!"

Sirius threw his hands up feeling frustrated.

"But it was with others girls in the past, Prongs and it worked! Why with Evans needs to be different?!"

James opened his mouth and closed it quickly. They arrived in a point that he wasn't totally ready to voice, even that he talked about it with Remus nights before. Then he chose to say half of the truth hoping to make Sirius satisfied and end the talk, murmuring.

"She deserves better, just it".

The black haired boy raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

"Different? What kind of different? _What it means_?"

James stayed silent without stare at Sirius who was looking at him as if he was trying to get the information from James's brain.

Minutes passed until a thought crossed Sirius's mind. His eyes widened, the understanding getting the confirmation from James silence and his embarrassment. The marauder got closer to his friend as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life.

"Prongs…" Sirius started concerned if he should say what he was going to say or not. "Are you telling me that _you are in love with her?_ "

James nodded weakly with his cheeks very red. He felt a little humiliated to admit something so… _Romantic and cheesy_. He was denying everything that he swore long ago: be in love with someone. Of course, in that time he and Sirius were just fourteen years boys only wanted to have fun with girls with nothing serious on their minds.

Nevertheless, things changed on the fifth year when he started noticing how beautiful Lily Evans was (and still is two years after) but he ruined everything with that unhappy argue at the Lake. That time he didn't want something serious with her (or maybe he wanted?) but time passed, she still was rejecting him and for the most he had a few girlfriends during that period, he couldn't forget Lily. Then they became Head Boy and Head Girl and finally friends.

However, James knew since the beginning that friendship wasn't enough to him, but he didn't want to ruin everything with her again if he moves to the next level. This has been his dilemma for months.

He was so absorbed on those thoughts that he didn't notice quickly that Sirius was laughing.

Well, great then.

"Yeah, I know, call me a pathetic twat. I knew you would laugh…" He couldn't hide his annoyance.

"Sorry mate, I'm not laughing _at you_ " He had another hysterical laugh session that made James angrier before continue. "I mean, try to see the whole situation… It's like I knew that one day it would happen and you wouldn't be able to maintain our vow to not get in love".

James gazed his friend in surprise. He was expecting to Sirius starts making all kind of joke and calling him a traitor. Padfoot wasn't the sensitive one to understand feelings - this was the reason that James always talked to Remus. He frowned feeling confused.

"So you aren't mad or thinking I'm an idiot?"

"Well Prongs, I don't need to know that you're love to think you're an idiot – _ouch!_ " James threw his pillow at Sirius's face.

"I'm talking serious!" James couldn't help not laugh.

"I'm the _serious_ here, mate". Sirius threw the pillow back to James. "I can't understand why you would think I would get mad with you". He rolled his eyes. "Let's face it James, from all of us, you always have been the one who would get in love, build a family, etc. Not a big surprise here, baby".

James blinked not believing what he just heard. So the others marauders always have guessed it? This proved how much his friends knew him…

"I need to remind you, dear Padfoot, that Lily is not even my girlfriend…"

"Yet" Sirius corrected him. "That makes me think why haven't you just told her the truth? You're such a coward, James Potter, I'm feeling ashamed for you".

James sighed again. "It's not like that…"

"It's not like that my arse, mate! You will never know if you don't try, for Merlin's sakes! The worst thing can happen is that she says to you go to hell".

James massaged his temple not able to control his sarcasm. "This makes me feel so better and encouraged, thank you so much, Padfoot".

"Haha, very funny Prongs! See I'm trying to help you because you know you're wasting your time. You have been dreaming about Evans for _two fucking years_! Now you have a chance you chicken out?! Where is your Gryffindor courage? Or you just use it to punch Slytherins?"

James huffed knowing that Sirius was trying to make him angry in purpose and unfortunately, it was working. He didn't want to admit loudly that the other marauder was right. He was being a big idiot and he could lose his chance forever if he didn't have a honest conversation with Lily, though thinking about that particular talk made his stomach rolls.

"Fine then. You're right, ok? All of this is ridiculous so I will try. Merlin knows how much I've wanted a chance". He smiled softly.

Sirius punched James's left arm in approval. "That's the spirit, Prongs".

James smiled widely for his friend. Maybe he has underestimated Sirius about that subject. He never have imagined the marauder encouraging him to have a relationship that could last.

Before Sirius comes back to his bed, James said:

"Hey man, thanks".

Sirius gazed at him with a half-smile but a little confused. "For what?"

"For being my friend and for your vast knowledge about love". He grinned while Sirius huffed.

"You're welcome, and hope see you tomorrow walking hand in hand with Evans and doing all those cheesy couple stuffs".

James laughed loudly. He knew Sirius would be always cynical about love, but he was happy that he approved his choice – he was aware that the marauder only wanted him to be happy. He never was glad before to open his heart, probably it would change when Lily accepts his feelings… He also knew it would be soon.


End file.
